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"When you open your mind and hands and heart to the knowing of a thing, there is no room in you for fear"

--Patricia McKillip, The Riddle-Master of Hed


I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here.

There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.


Recommendations requested
Tuesday, September 11, 2007 @ 07:49

As some of you know (esp. those that read slave boy's journal), I have recently added someone to my household. she is new to the bdsm/leather world and braved her fears of the unknown to request the opportunity to be of service. Since she lives in Tucson, we only see her on weekends, but we maintain contact throughout the week. I'll try to write another time about how grateful and amazed I'm feeling. Right now, I'm requesting your recommendations.

Since she is so new (but solidly committed to learning about service, submission, surrender, SM, etc.) she's not quite sure what label fits her and is looking for guidance in finding her path. While I have a number of resources to share with her (as does boy), I'm looking for some quality web pages and possibly discussion groups for her to investigate. she has very limited computer access, so it needs to very high quality content and low to zero noise level. It's hard to believe it's been 10 years since I was a newbie (and several times that for boy) and 3/4 of the sites I bookmarked five years ago (when I was working with another newbie) are now gone. I need to know what is out there to provide information and support to a submissive woman who is exploring service in its many permutations: slave, girl, boy, 'submissive'...

I am grateful to have such an experienced and intelligent circle of friends and readers and look forward to reading your suggestions.

(0) comments

group behaviors
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 @ 18:57

There is a new yahoogroup that focuses on M/s relationships. I joined it almost as soon as it was started and watched it balloon to 100-150 messages a day. Way too many for me to read, let alone respond to. So, I skim. And I try to catch up every day or two. I believed in this group because so many of my FOC and COF (local and geographically far) are members. Even more people I know and respect from around the country have posted intros. While I hardly expected everyone to agree 100%, I had hopes that it wouldn't fall into the normal cyber-drama of online groups. With so many people "real" and regularly encountering each other at events and clubs, I was naive enough to believe there would be some level of civility.

In the few weeks I've been skimming messages (I currently have over 200 "unread" in my e-mail), I've been insulted twice and witnessed at least one little flame war about whether or not someone was being rude. From the select messages I've skimmed since I got home tonight, it seems that at least one person has left the group - which only led to more heated debate about whether the treatment of her was worse than her treatment of others. *sighs*

This morning, as I got ready for work (I think I was 100 message behind at that point), I was extremely bothered by the two insults to me. I even commented to slave boy that I couldn't figure out why I was letting them get to me. Neither was directed specifically at me -- I've only made one post to the list introducing mysElf. And why was I so upset that a call for dropping value-ladden language by someone I respect was met with counterattacks and defense of "passion?" She certainly doesn't need me to answer for her or to feel badly on her behalf. She's one of the strongest, most articulate women I know and her Master is formidable as well.

(The two insults? A slave/submissive woman posted that she addresses women by their name, whether submissive or dominant, but dominant men as "Sir." -- not unique. This type of sexism is so prevalent in our extended community that most people defend it rather than recognizing it as the discrimination it actually is. After being indirectly called "inferior" by her, I was then more directly labeled "unethical" because I choose to make decisions about slave boy's career and daily job. This was less indirect, as I had stated clearly that I did so and the comment calling all such Masters "unethical" was only one or two responses after mine.)

I believe that people disagree. I believe that people have core values that are so core, they would literally die to defend them. However, most of life isn't that deep. Most of life is different choices and beliefs that we each hold. I respect and accept that others believe and behave differently than I ever would. I accept that some of my own friends and FOC may think me wrong, misguided, silly, or even stupid at times. I would hope they would call me on it and we would agree to disagree on those things that can't be resolved. For absolute strangers to call me unethical or inferior is beyond rude. Say my choices are wrong or that you disagree with my logic. Explain, as passionately as you want, that you would never do anything like that because it goes against what you believe. But don't insult me, or make blanket insults to large percentages of a list of several hundred people.

Intellectual argument can be passionate without degrading the others involved. While few words are truly neutral, some words are blatantly insulting and used by the "impassioned" specifically to push buttons. As someone with strong pacifist beliefs, verbal violence is just as unsavory to me as physical assault. I realized on my drive to work (finally!) that this was why I was so bothered by these exchanges. I had hoped that this group might be a safe place for discussing M/s relationships openly and with some level of civility and acceptance. Just call me "Pollyana" I guess.

(0) comments

April 17th gratitude
Tuesday, April 17, 2007 @ 06:36

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for cacti
  2. for desert brush
  3. for unexpected rabbit sightings
  4. for cats
  5. that the Great Almond is wholesome and natural
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

Please digg slave boy
Monday, April 16, 2007 @ 06:44

A shameless plug for my property:

If you are part of digg, please consider digging Kitchen Shaman's coverage of the 1st ever Food Network Awards.

Thanks!

(0) comments

April 16th gratitude
@ 06:30

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for boymade cookies
  2. for chocolate soy milk in single-serving cartons
  3. for an afternoon spent napping
  4. for a simple but delicious boymade dinner
  5. that the Great Wall Calendar is spacious and orderly
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 15th gratitude
Sunday, April 15, 2007 @ 07:50

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for opportunities to witness
  2. for incredible FOC and COF
  3. that I belong to a solid leather community
  4. for the growing COA* in my life
  5. that the Great Colored Cardstock is bright and strongl
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.
COA = Circle of Artists

(0) comments

April 14th gratitude
Saturday, April 14, 2007 @ 07:48

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for $5 found in a box of 2006 receipts
  2. for Turbo Tax showing me deductions I wouldn't have known about
  3. for the digital camera
  4. for the sound of cats playing with plastic eggs
  5. that the Great Lemon Tree is fragrant and fruitful
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 13th gratitude
Friday, April 13, 2007 @ 06:21

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for running water - hot as well as cold
  2. for electricity
  3. for central heat and A/C
  4. for digital cable, telephone, and broadband internet
  5. that the Great Sliding Door is clear and adjustable
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 12th gratitude
Thursday, April 12, 2007 @ 06:37

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for a boy-cooked dinner
  2. for cats
  3. for incense
  4. for the lessons the Universe sends
  5. that the Great Cookie Sheet is sturdy and fire resistant
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

RSS feeds & readers
Wednesday, April 11, 2007 @ 21:49

As part of our developing business ventures, slave boy and mysElf are expanding our presence in the blogsphere. This requires us to wade into the world of RSS. However, neither of us have experience with either feeds or readers -- and we need to understand both.

Does anyone have recommendations based on personal experience? We've done a few searches, but the stuff is too technical to decipher when we're this tired. Plain, simple reviews from people who've worked with them is what we're looking for right now. We'll figure out the technical stuff later.

Thanks to anyone who can help.

(0) comments

April 11th gratitude
@ 06:39

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for the table top water fountain
  2. for the cats in my life
  3. for loving, accepting friends
  4. that I'm learning to practice more of what I believe
  5. that the Great Salad Bar is varied and nourishing
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 10th gratitude
Saturday, April 07, 2007 @ 07:43

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for early morning bird song
  2. for the blooming bush outside our front door
  3. for the generosity of neighbors
  4. for the first rays of sunlight through the vertical blinds
  5. that the Great Metallic Gel Pen is colorful and sparkles
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 5th gratitude
Thursday, April 05, 2007 @ 06:31

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for slave boy
  2. for FOC
  3. for FOO
  4. for my co-workers
  5. that the Great Soy Milk is nourishing and available
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 4th gratitude
Wednesday, April 04, 2007 @ 06:29

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for a visit from FOC
  2. for altered book art
  3. that boy is happy with his job
  4. for reality shows with hot women singing & dancing
  5. that the Great Exacto Knife is clean and precise
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 3rd gratitude
Tuesday, April 03, 2007 @ 06:35

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for an unexpected present from an artist-friend!!!!
  2. for evenings spent with slave boy (he's working days during passover)
  3. for spiral notebooks
  4. for Faith episodes of "Angel"
  5. that the Cereal Bowl is smooth and deep
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

April 2nd gratitude
Monday, April 02, 2007 @ 06:35

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for driving home at sunset
  2. that sunrise is so early
  3. for dual-time alarm clocks
  4. for boymade salsa
  5. that the Great Palo Verde is bright and blooming
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

March 30th gratitude
Friday, March 30, 2007 @ 07:47

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for strawberry-vanilla granola
  2. that slave boy has Saturday off
  3. that I finally shoke the exhaustion that has been bugging me all week
  4. that I am still capable of surprising mysElf
  5. that the Great Blue Bird is joyful and beautiful
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

March 29th gratitude
Thursday, March 29, 2007 @ 07:32

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for Extreme Pita
  2. for a day spent away from the office
  3. that my bosses trust me and value my judgement
  4. for videotape
  5. that the Great Public Library is available and helpful
and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

January 14th gratitude
Sunday, January 14, 2007 @ 09:48

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. that we've been able to go clothes/shoes shopping without fights or breakdowns
  2. for time spent browsing at the library
  3. that I'm finding clothes I actually like on me
  4. that people in my community are willing to step up when things are needed
  5. that the Great Computer Speaker is adjustable

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

January 13th gratitude
Saturday, January 13, 2007 @ 07:08

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for a preview of the spirit SWLC
  2. for slave boy's dedication
  3. for the free furniture we scored earlier this week
  4. that our recent job developments will help us achieve some financial stability
  5. that the Great Green Spider inspires

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

January 12th gratitude
Friday, January 12, 2007 @ 07:13

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for insights found at last night's Advanced Roundtable (at APEX)
  2. for insights generated by conversations with slave boy the last two nights
  3. that I own an insightful slave
  4. that I have a role to fill in my local community
  5. that the Great Toast Tree is unconditional

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

Here's a pic of this morning's toast tree:

.

(0) comments

Phase I over
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 @ 18:45

It was a hectic weekend. Besides trying to mentally process the sudden promotion at work and what it will mean to the household, I was swamped in activities for the Southwest Leather Art Exhibition. The deadline for submissions was Friday night. I had to process, verify, track, code, and format all the images to be forwarded to the judges. I had to communicate with judges & with SWLC bigwigs & prepare draft decision letters and other minutia.

In between that, I met our landlords, they had the heat fixed and a back door lock installed (finally!). I also managed to make it to the MAsT-Phoenix meeting. Then we met with the judges, who made their choices for the Art Exhibition and we all walked the space and made initial plans for display. I've turned most of that over to boy to coordinate. I just sent out the decision letters to all the artists. Now I get a bit of a breather before the artists start sending in further information and I have to coordinate volunteer hours, program content, & related tasks.

Next year (if there is a next year) I'm going to have a larger committee than two to get all this organized and handled!

(0) comments

First Ever Southwest Leather Art Exhibition
Friday, December 15, 2006 @ 06:45

SWLC Seeking Artists and Artwork for
First Ever Southwest Leather Art Exhibition


SWLC is pleased to announce that the first Southwest Leather Art Exhibition
will be a part of our conference in January 2007.

We encourage artists in the Southwest region of our leather tribe (AZ,
Southern CA, CO, HI, NV(excluding Reno), NM, OK, TX, UT) to share their
expressions of heart and spirit and submit their creative works. Artwork
does NOT have to be kink-related or erotic in nature, though those subjects
are welcome.

All artwork must be submitted electronically (jpegs by e-mail) for
consideration. Deadline for submission is December 15, 2006. A pre-selected
panel will review all artwork, and selected pieces will be displayed during
SWLC 2007. Details and submission guidelines can be found here:
http://southwestleather.org/artexhibit.php

(1) comments

how do you test drive a computer?
Saturday, December 09, 2006 @ 07:45

I'm looking into buying a used laptop (or a new one if I can find an awesome pre-Xmas or inventory clearance sale). Given that I've only bought one computer in my life (back in 1997, I believe, the rest have either been boy's or hand-me-downs) and it was new, I'm not really sure how to proceed with checking out a used computer before handing over money.

If you were going to buy a used laptop, what would your "test drive" include?

I appreciate any suggestions you can share -- and be as thorough as you have time to be.

(0) comments

NaNo wrap up, Part 1
Monday, December 04, 2006 @ 07:43

I'll have more to say in another few days about the process of writing the first draft of a novel in a month (and 54% of it in four days!). For now, I'm still getting over the last bit of this nasty cold and trying to restore some sort of order to the house -- oh, and catch up on the SWLAE & my other duties that fell by the wayside -- and sleeping!

I figured if I could post an excerpt on the NaNoWriMo site, I could post it here -- though I may decide to delete it at some point, since this was the first draft, not a finished piece of writing.

Thank you to everyone who posted encouragement in my comments (esp the last few days of frenzied writing) and who gave them to me via e-mail or in person. It really helped to know so many people believed in me.
Untitled

Chapter One


The coffee shop was unusually quiet that Thursday afternoon. Vi had made something of a ritual of stopping in for a hot chocolate and muffin once her work week ended. The advantage of part-time work for her was that the week ended at two on Thursday afternoon. Not that she didnt have plenty of freelance writing projects to work on once she got home. But that was what the three-day weekends were designed for.

Instead of getting her order right away, Vi walked over to the bulletin board and tried to find a space big enough for the flier in her portfolio. She had to reaarange a few gaps to create one large enough to display her simple page without covering anyone elses message. Once the space was cleared, she pulled out the letter-sized page, gave a silent blessing, and pinned it to the cork board. Only then did she walk to the counter to place her order.

~~~~~~~~~

Chapter Thirty-One
(the last paragraph only)


Violet held the sealed envelope by the tips of her forefinger and thumb and watched as it caught a spark. She let it flame until it almost burned her hand and released it with a loud yet melodic shout to life!

(0) comments

Done!
Thursday, November 30, 2006 @ 23:18


    Current verified word count: 50565

    Words written since 6pm on Sunday: 27474

    Time finished: 6:15pm MST (so 27474 words in 96 hours, minus 4 days at work and various errands, not to mention sleep time).

    Words needed: -565 (but it's still untitled)


(0) comments

Nano update for 11-30 -- part two
@ 16:43

Current verified word count: 48061

Words written since 6pm on Sunday: 24970

Hours remaining: 6:57 (minus one LILA meeting and allowing 19 minutes to encrypt the story and verify my count).

Words needed: 1939 (including a title!)

(0) comments

NaNo update for 11-29 --part 2
@ 00:23


Current verified word count: 45558

Words written since 6pm on Sunday: 22467

Hours remaining: 23:37 (minus two days of work and one LILA meeting).

Words needed: 4442 (including a title! and a killer closing line)

(0) comments

NaNo update for 11-29
Wednesday, November 29, 2006 @ 07:26

Current verified word count: 40194

Words written since 6pm on Sunday: 17103

Hours remaining: 40:36 (minus two days of work and one LILA meeting)

Words needed: 9806 (including a title! and a killer closing line)

(0) comments

still here
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 @ 15:58

After falling sick last Wednesday, I spent most of my time glued to the couch (I let boy have the bed, so he would have less chance of catching my bug). I'm still far from 100%, I have a cough and persistent sniffles, but I'm better, if tired. boy worked three 12hr shifts over the weekend and spent yesterday and today recovering. Between illnesses, work, novel writing, and recovering, the house is in probably the worst shape I've ever seen it. I really need a houseslave/boy/girl.

As for the NaNoWriMo goal -- As of 6pm on Sunday I was still at 23091. Trying to reach 50000 by Thursday at 11:59pm MST is still my goal. Right now I'm somewhere between 34K & 35K. I'm just taking it 1K at a time and we'll see how far I can get.

Time to go back to writing.

(0) comments

November 22nd gratitude
Wednesday, November 22, 2006 @ 06:52

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. that we spent time with a dear FOC last night
  2. that we got to see her new house, too
  3. that our cats really like having the big sliding doors to watch the world
  4. that I have yummy boy-made cookies
  5. that the Great Yellow Notebook is loving and reassuring

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

NaNo progress report 11-22
@ 06:52

Report for 11-21:
  • Word count -- 1138.
  • Verified Word Count to date -- 23091.
Goals for 11-22:
  • Keep writing
  • word count goal is 2500
  • EC goal is to break 30000

(0) comments

November 21st gratitude
Tuesday, November 21, 2006 @ 06:47

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. that I received free canes at the Bizarre Bizaar
  2. for an evening spent with great people at APEX
  3. that one of our cats is doing better now that we've changed her food
  4. that I got to watch a friend try out her new cane on boy
  5. that the Great Brown Bowl is empty and full

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

NaNo progress report 11-21
@ 06:47

Report for 11-20:
  • Word count for 11-21 -- 2176.
  • Verified Word Count to date -- 21953.
Goals for 11-21:
  • Keep writing
  • word count goal is 2500
  • EC goal is to break 25000

(0) comments

NaNo progress report 11-20
@ 06:47

Catch-up report:
  • Word count for 11-17 (Friday) -- 395.
  • Word count for 11-18 (Saturday) -- 0.
  • Word count for 11-19 (Sunday) -- 0.
  • Word count so far today (Monday) -- 1606.
  • Verified Word Count to date -- 21383.

(0) comments

November 20th gratitude
Monday, November 20, 2006 @ 06:30

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. that we went to the Phoenix Indian Festival
  2. for yummy Indian food, both at the festival and at home
  3. that boy has two days off -- in a row! -- Including a Sunday!
  4. that I live in a city so diverse I can go from an Indian Festival to a BDSM munch to a hispanic supermarket in the same afternoon
  5. that the Great Desert Shrub endures

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments

NaNo progress report 11-16
Thursday, November 16, 2006 @ 06:18

Goals from Day 15:
  • Finish the chapter I started yesterday -- MET
  • Write two more chapters -- NOT MET
  • Word count goal is 3000 -- NOT MET -- My verified word count for yesterday is 869.
  • Extra Credit -- 1000 extra words -- NOT MET -- see above
  • Verified Word Count to date -- 18947
  • Comments: I wrote in the morning for the first time. I need to try to do more of that. I wrote at work again, which is good, too. Now I just need to put the three patterns together: write a little in the morning and at lunch and then do a long session at night. And trust the Great Neon Frog to give me words to fill the pages.
Goals for Day 16:
  • Finish the chapter I started yesterday
  • Write two more chapters
  • Word count goal is 3000
  • EC goal is 1000 extra words for a total of 4000.

(0) comments

November 16th gratitude
@ 06:18

Today I especially express gratitude
  1. for dinner at a wonder vegan restaurant
  2. for roasted, unsalted cashews
  3. that I am sleeping better
  4. that boy is searching for a house slave for me
  5. that the Great Neon Frog is energizing and colorful

and recognize that I am grateful for so much more.

(0) comments


D M's Journal

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D M's Realm


"Recommendations requested"
"group behaviors"
"April 17th gratitude"
"Please digg slave boy"
"April 16th gratitude"
"April 15th gratitude"
"April 14th gratitude"
"April 13th gratitude"
"April 12th gratitude"
"RSS feeds & readers"
"April 11th gratitude"
"April 10th gratitude"
"April 5th gratitude"
"April 4th gratitude"
"April 3rd gratitude"
"April 2nd gratitude"
"March 30th gratitude"
"March 29th gratitude"
"January 14th gratitude"
"January 13th gratitude"
"January 12th gratitude"
"Phase I over"
"First Ever Southwest Leather Art Exhibition"
"how do you test drive a computer?"
"NaNo wrap up, Part 1"
"Done!"
"Nano update for 11-30 -- part two"
"NaNo update for 11-29 --part 2"
"NaNo update for 11-29"
"still here"
"November 22nd gratitude"
"NaNo progress report 11-22"
"November 21st gratitude"
"NaNo progress report 11-21"
"NaNo progress report 11-20"
"November 20th gratitude"
"NaNo progress report 11-16"
"November 16th gratitude"
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