I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Recommendations requested
| Tuesday, September 11, 2007 @ 07:49 As some of you know (esp. those that read slave boy's journal), I have recently added someone to my household. she is new to the bdsm/leather world and braved her fears of the unknown to request the opportunity to be of service. Since she lives in Tucson, we only see her on weekends, but we maintain contact throughout the week. I'll try to write another time about how grateful and amazed I'm feeling. Right now, I'm requesting your recommendations. Since she is so new (but solidly committed to learning about service, submission, surrender, SM, etc.) she's not quite sure what label fits her and is looking for guidance in finding her path. While I have a number of resources to share with her (as does boy), I'm looking for some quality web pages and possibly discussion groups for her to investigate. she has very limited computer access, so it needs to very high quality content and low to zero noise level. It's hard to believe it's been 10 years since I was a newbie (and several times that for boy) and 3/4 of the sites I bookmarked five years ago (when I was working with another newbie) are now gone. I need to know what is out there to provide information and support to a submissive woman who is exploring service in its many permutations: slave, girl, boy, 'submissive'... I am grateful to have such an experienced and intelligent circle of friends and readers and look forward to reading your suggestions. (0) comments links to this post
group behaviors
There is a new yahoogroup that focuses on M/s relationships. I joined it almost as soon as it was started and watched it balloon to 100-150 messages a day. Way too many for me to read, let alone respond to. So, I skim. And I try to catch up every day or two. I believed in this group because so many of my FOC and COF (local and geographically far) are members. Even more people I know and respect from around the country have posted intros. While I hardly expected everyone to agree 100%, I had hopes that it wouldn't fall into the normal cyber-drama of online groups. With so many people "real" and regularly encountering each other at events and clubs, I was naive enough to believe there would be some level of civility. In the few weeks I've been skimming messages (I currently have over 200 "unread" in my e-mail), I've been insulted twice and witnessed at least one little flame war about whether or not someone was being rude. From the select messages I've skimmed since I got home tonight, it seems that at least one person has left the group - which only led to more heated debate about whether the treatment of her was worse than her treatment of others. *sighs* This morning, as I got ready for work (I think I was 100 message behind at that point), I was extremely bothered by the two insults to me. I even commented to slave boy that I couldn't figure out why I was letting them get to me. Neither was directed specifically at me -- I've only made one post to the list introducing mysElf. And why was I so upset that a call for dropping value-ladden language by someone I respect was met with counterattacks and defense of "passion?" She certainly doesn't need me to answer for her or to feel badly on her behalf. She's one of the strongest, most articulate women I know and her Master is formidable as well. (The two insults? A slave/submissive woman posted that she addresses women by their name, whether submissive or dominant, but dominant men as "Sir." -- not unique. This type of sexism is so prevalent in our extended community that most people defend it rather than recognizing it as the discrimination it actually is. After being indirectly called "inferior" by her, I was then more directly labeled "unethical" because I choose to make decisions about slave boy's career and daily job. This was less indirect, as I had stated clearly that I did so and the comment calling all such Masters "unethical" was only one or two responses after mine.) I believe that people disagree. I believe that people have core values that are so core, they would literally die to defend them. However, most of life isn't that deep. Most of life is different choices and beliefs that we each hold. I respect and accept that others believe and behave differently than I ever would. I accept that some of my own friends and FOC may think me wrong, misguided, silly, or even stupid at times. I would hope they would call me on it and we would agree to disagree on those things that can't be resolved. For absolute strangers to call me unethical or inferior is beyond rude. Say my choices are wrong or that you disagree with my logic. Explain, as passionately as you want, that you would never do anything like that because it goes against what you believe. But don't insult me, or make blanket insults to large percentages of a list of several hundred people. Intellectual argument can be passionate without degrading the others involved. While few words are truly neutral, some words are blatantly insulting and used by the "impassioned" specifically to push buttons. As someone with strong pacifist beliefs, verbal violence is just as unsavory to me as physical assault. I realized on my drive to work (finally!) that this was why I was so bothered by these exchanges. I had hoped that this group might be a safe place for discussing M/s relationships openly and with some level of civility and acceptance. Just call me "Pollyana" I guess. (0) comments links to this post
April 17th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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Please digg slave boy
A shameless plug for my property: If you are part of digg, please consider digging Kitchen Shaman's coverage of the 1st ever Food Network Awards. Thanks! (0) comments links to this post
April 16th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 15th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
COA = Circle of Artists (0) comments links to this post
April 14th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 13th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 12th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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RSS feeds & readers
As part of our developing business ventures, slave boy and mysElf are expanding our presence in the blogsphere. This requires us to wade into the world of RSS. However, neither of us have experience with either feeds or readers -- and we need to understand both. Does anyone have recommendations based on personal experience? We've done a few searches, but the stuff is too technical to decipher when we're this tired. Plain, simple reviews from people who've worked with them is what we're looking for right now. We'll figure out the technical stuff later. Thanks to anyone who can help. (0) comments links to this post
April 11th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 10th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 5th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 4th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 3rd gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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April 2nd gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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March 30th gratitude
Today I especially express gratitude
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