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"When you open your mind and hands and heart to the knowing of a thing, there is no room in you for fear"
--Patricia McKillip, The Riddle-Master of Hed |
I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here.
There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Tuesday, February 26, 2002
@ 21:54
from http://www.enslavement.org.uk/fivepoint.html:
"A slave differs from other types of bottom in that they have no (enforceable) rights with respect to the top. In particular, they cannot remove themselves from the relationship, and cannot themselves chose to impose restrictions on what is done to them. This lack of rights in the face of the top's acknowledged authority over them constitutes possession, and the difference between a servant and a slave can be summarised by: "Possession rather than obedience is the defining quality of slavery; obedience rather than possession is the defining quality of submission."
I posted this to a private discussion list I run. I asked if it's greedy of me that I want to possess someone who is obedient. I trust the insight and instincts of those on the list, so I'm waiting to hear what they think.
I'm definitely a possessive person. Something I've known for awhile, but the word seems to have come up a few times lately. Caliann mentioned it as a potential barrier to my having a switch as a submissive. Would I be able to let her build her own relationships as a domme with submissives? I think I would. I think I would be able to share a submissive with other submissives, with other dominants, with vanilla lovers. Of course, it has only been put to the test once and that was a long time ago. And it was a very, very difficult time for me because I don't like sharing! And I don't like people encroaching on what I consider to be my territory -- even if that territory isn't officially mine. If I might want it, I don't want anyone else to have it -- even if I haven't made up my mind yet. (Can you tell this has been an issue with me of late??)
So, my emotions tend toward the possessive and the greedy. That doesn't mean my actions do. That doesn't mean I don't recognize the benefits of allowing a switch to dominate others in between her service to me. It doesn't mean I don't understand that allowing a bisexual submissive time with men will keep her balanced and happier in her service. It doesn't mean that I have a double standard that I'm allowed to love more than one person but they can't have eyes (or hands or minds) for anyone else. I acknowledge my emotions (mostly -- to myself if no one else), and I control the expression of them as best I can. That skill has increased and I'm a much happier person for it. Keeping the people around me balanced and fulfilled improves the quality of my life and *that* type of self-centered greed has more benefits than the primal territorialism.
Of course, I'm told some submissives/slaves like it when their dommes get possessive. I guess it strokes their egos to feel wanted with such ferocity. So the question becomes: when is it my best interest to stroke their ego in such a way?
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