I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Wednesday, March 13, 2002 @ 21:06 I'm on too many discussion lists to count. Some are vanilla, most are bdsm or slavery topics. A master proposed to his slave and she posted on one of the lists that she feels weird about it and wasn't sure why. A few women responded (many, many fewer than usually reply on that list) and one of them resonated with what I've been finding in myself. I asked her permission to reproduce part of her post here: "Perhaps part of it has to do with perceived levels of intimacy. Sir and I have a very close emotional relationship in many ways--but we can and do go through periods of formality/distance...coldness but that's not really the right word. What other ways to describe the emotions of high protocol? Or lack of emotions). As I've told him before about myself: The slave accepts things that the woman cannot. Meaning that I can find a place within myself as a slave that is ok with disappointment, hurt feelings, being in unfair situations, etc. If I was in a vanilla relationship with him, those things would be unacceptable." This is what has been in my mind recently. I read discussions of what slaves expect from their Masters and it's things like consistency and patience, love and understanding, devotion and emotional guidance. Ownership isn't about meeting someone's emotional needs. It's a partnership between someone who has a drive to serve and someone who wants to be served. If a slave is "having a bad day" or feels "neglected" she doesn't expect her owner to fix her emotional state. She "accepts what a woman cannot" and deals with it internally so that it doesn't interfere with her service. If it's too much to handle quickly, she asks to be relieved of service until she can deal with it. If necessary, she may request her owner's assistance, but she would not expect it. Nor, if denied assistance, would she mark it off some mental checklist of times her "needs" weren't met.
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