I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Sunday, April 21, 2002 @ 11:03 I'm having nightmares again. For those that don't know, this is a BIG DEAL. I haven't had nightmares in so many years I can't even count. I used to have really bad ones. I still remember some from childhood and lots from the time that drove me to research how to stop nightmares. This last few days, I dreamed my sister died. I dreamed NM dumped me. I dreamed something else that I don't remember but woke me with heart racing and fear in my mind. I don't know if I lost my lepidolite or it needs a recharge. I haven't had time the last few days to investigate, but I know I need to do so. I can't go back to the loss of sleep and the stress on my system. When I get in a cycle of nightmares, they haunt me in my waking hours, not just at night. Right now I'm stressed enough trying to sort out this whole poly thing and the individual relationships within the larger framework. I'm slightly stressed about my job as the longer I stay there the more I wonder about the "conflict of interests" between their goals and my spiritual beliefs. And always, in the background, is the worry about my sister's health and my mother's stress level. I don't need the added stress of interrupted sleep, disrupted vital signs, and anxiety throughout the day as I try to figure out why I dreamed what I dreamed and whether I'll have another nightmare that night. I'm tired enough without losing sleep.
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