I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Thursday, May 02, 2002 @ 22:45 another written this morning while resting the ankle: There's an essence to those who were meant to be owned. I have recently come to accept that there are many different kinds of slaves. Some need love to enslave them. Others grow to love their owners. Some become quite devoted, but never quite "love." The type of essence I mentioned belongs to a specific slave. I won't try to describe it or pretend to understand all it's nuances and variations. I haven't had enough experience to clearly define these four women. All the people I've met who display this were women -- or maybe I only saw it in women because that's what I was seeking. Maybe men have it and I just don't want to see it. I was attracted to Moon by words on a computer screen that weren't even directed at me. There just seemed to be something more about her. When we talked, the same words said by many before and since just seemed different. By the time we progressed to telephone conversations, I knew she possessed something special -- though at that time I had no idea it involved slavery and ownership. The first time we met face-to-face, in an airport where she had kept me waiting due to a miscommunication about flight arrival time, I sensed it. Underneath the nervousness and fear and doubt swirling through us, there was a core something in her that just pulled at me. She wasn't my physical type. She wasn't a "perfect" anything. There was just something there. And I knew the essential was there and the rest I would learn to accept. The committment I was wanting to make happened then -- in that instant of recognizing, even though it wasn't a conscious one. I figured out later that the essence I sensed was of a certain slave type. I found it in two other women the year after Moon and I met. They baffled me because they seemed so familiar from the instant we met and I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized that they reminded me of Moon, but not in physicality or voice. It took awhile to see the common element was this slave essence. Owned or single. Slave or submissive or vanilla. They all have the same core. That core speaks to me on such a basic level that it's hard to resist, but I see it as soon as I meet someone. Or, most of the time, don't see it.
Comments:
Post a Comment
|
|
|||||
page content & design by D M