I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Thursday, May 16, 2002 @ 07:29 It is beyond weird to be breaking up with one person as you find stronger ground with another -- I mean to literally go from one "Dear Jane" phone conversation with a submissive to an online conversation about the matching philosophies of life with another. Some might say that the one relationship existed in order to prepare me for the next. I don't agree. I wanted both. I see a way to have both. The parties involved don't want what I can offer. In my mind it shouldn't have to be an either/or. Silly of me to be polyamorous, huh? I'd be so much happier if I was just a monogamous vanilla heterosexual. All this poly, M/s bisexuality is just silly. I was advised last night to tell someone how much I love them. It was suggested maybe I should try to make a life with the person(s) I love instead of trying to find someone to fit my view of the ideal life. Yes, I believe that if you love someone you change. You move closer to them emotionally and physically and you find ways to share their life. However, you can't change your core being to fit into their view of an ideal life. If I love you (and I love a goodly number of people) I will go to great lengths on your behalf, I just won't change who I am. Nor am I going to encourage you to change who you are so that you'll fit into the life I want. I've found places in my life for all those I love. I will not deny the fact that I need a slave nor will I pretend to be monogamous. If that means I "lose" the people I love to others who can give them what I can't be (gee, I think I've had that happen more than once), well, I'll survive. And I'll keep looking for the person who will offer not just love, but compatibility.
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