I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Thursday, May 02, 2002 @ 22:30 It's Thursday about 9:45 (am) and I'm lying in bed, ankle elevated and iced. At this point it's mostly preventative and restorative. I will be going into work later. I just want to make sure the long walk to and from the car won't stress the joint too much. And I need the rest. Pain and physical stress is tiring. I always forget how much. I think I need work on my stamina and overall health. If I ever seriously injure myself, I'll be in major trouble. So I'll lie here for a few more hours, writing and watching tv, then get up and shower, wrap the ankle and go to work. Then hobble home and rest some more -- and try not to think of the 300 or so e-mails that will build up by the time I can sit at the computer and check messages. Tuesday night's "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" ended with a Tara-Willow reconciliation. Tara made a speech about how there's a long process after a break up. That you have to rebuild trust and see if you still in each other's lives. She ended by saying "Can we just skip it? Can you just be kissing me now?" So the question I have: Is there a lot more in discussion and television about taking a leap of faith lately or am I just more aware of what's always been there (given my current thoughts)? I have been thinking about poly as well. As NM explained her preferred relationship I started to wonder if I want something similiar. One slave at home that is my committed relationship. Then others that I play with outside, but don't "go home with/to". I know without a doubt I am capable of loving multiple people simultaneously. I don't know if I have the energy and focus to own multiple people. I know that even the process of testing three or more (D/s dating, if you will) was exhausting. It became clear to me that there isn't room in a poly to commit time and energy to someone who doesn't seem compatible. Attraction, however tempting, isn't enough. Mutual interest isn't enough. If you are balancing the needs and emotional attachments of two or three people, adding another can't be capricious. Even if you're "just dating" you still owe everyone involved enough time and attention. Otherwise you're just hurting all -- and keeping them from finding something more fulfilling.
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