I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Wednesday, June 12, 2002 @ 07:16 Another long phone conversation with the boi. Not as long as our last one when she was at her own house. We have to be respectful of her Mistress's cell minutes. Very affirming. We discussed the fact that we appear giddy and overwhelmed and that my friends (and possibly those who read this journal) probably think we're head over heels in love or lust or infatuation. While there's a healthy dose of lust involved, we're neither infatuated nor in love. The energy between us is incredible. The compatibility level beyond what either of us ever expected to find in another person (In my hopes for the future I imagined someone who was 80-90% compatible in life and 99% compatible in ownership issues). I've been in love. Being in love involves ache and longing and hope and a level of anxiousness. None of that is present in this relationship. This relationship involves being sated and sure and safe. The lust creates physical longing, I'll grant that. However, there is not emotional longing. The times I've been in love, there has been fear and uncertainty that create an edge, a level of urgency to the passionate feelings and sexual desire. The intensity in our sex is created by the energy and the compatibility. There is no urgency, there's just speed. In Stranger in a Strange Land, Robert Heinlein describes characters as moving fast without rushing. That's what the boi and I are experiencing now. We're not in any rush, we're just moving 200 miles an hour because that's the speed that feels right. Every time I've been in love there has been a "hurry up" feeling. The "I want you now and forever" syndrome. I know that on the outside we probably look like that's what we are. Wrapped inside the energy and the lust and the feelings, we know we're not.
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