I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Thursday, June 06, 2002 @ 07:23 Just a quick note: as I just posted in the Upward Spiral blog, there are lots of good things in my life right now. There is also some pain and the slow release of the same. Luckily the latter isn't overwhelming me as it normally would. There's something I've wanted to write for over a week now. It really bothers me more than I let on (well, one person knows how much it upset me). Someone basically called me a slut, in reference to sexual activity, and meant it as an insult. Now, I know people who are proud to be called sluts and others who appreciate it. And I know there are different types of sluts and it can be about SM play or about dates as much as about sex. This person made it about sex and meant to denigrate me. That was upsetting. Mostly because it is so far from true it's laughable. I've written about being a virgin in lots of ways and the frustration of not having a partner, but I can and have been very asexual. Since I started this lifestyle a little over five years ago I have had real life sexual relations with only four women. FOUR in FIVE years. I went almost two years between touching someone sexually. It was over two years before I had someone sleep in my bed with me, ie, "spend the night". When I was first accused of being a slut I happened to be talking to darby (a self-proclaimed slut in many areas) and she knew I was upset. Her main comment to me was that this person really doesn't know me. And that was the truth. Since then I've discovered that other people think I'm a slut (in a nasty tone) because I am single, I am poly, and I am interested in seeing a variety of people. Still, just because I'm teasing someone at a party or even bringing them home to beat, doesn't mean I'm f***ing them or that if I am f***ing them, I'm allowing mutual sexual activity. If I were to reveal the number of people who have had direct *consensual* contact with my genitals, most people wouldn't believe it....sex can be one-way and it doesn't have to involve orgasm and it doesn't have to involve genital stimulation. Even with that broad of a definition: four people (all women) in five years. A few people did laugh at the idea that I'm a slut. of course, I would like to be a slut someday. I just don't have that type of emotional framework -- yet :)
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