I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Thursday, June 13, 2002 @ 07:24 Why is it that those of us who are open and honest about polyamory are the ones who get rejected for it? The ones who hide it from their multiple partners don't. I had a woman all ready to come over and play with me on a vacation day next week. A few hours of talking and playing that we both wanted. Then I did the fair thing and told her that the boi would be with me over the weekend. I didn't want her to find that out after the fact or by seeing the boi's stuff here, etc. And I feel she has the right to know for health reasons. I play safe both sexually and SM-wise, but it's still a matter of disclosure. So, my being honest means I don't get to play with her -- or probably even talk to her for awhile because it seems to have acted as a very cold shower. I just don't get it. I'm completely upfront about being poly. It's one of the very first things I tell someone who shows an interest in playing or a potential relationship. And yet, time after time, people seem surprised by the reality of it (and sometimes the same person gets surprised by it multiple times!). It's like they didn't think I was serious or something. Hell, even the boi is still surprised that I approach poly in a healthy way. Though in her case it is a joyous surprise because she's encountered the same problems with people not being able to handle *her* poly-ness. I have the capacity to love multiple people in committed relationships. I do this simultaneously instead of serially. That means I don't have to dump one person just because I find another that I want in my life. I don't "replace" one with another, I just find room for both. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop them from dropping me when they can't handle the reality. Why don't they just accept that I'm sincere from the start and bow out then??
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