I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Monday, August 05, 2002 @ 19:30 Soon I'm going to have to deal with the coming out thing. One of the reasons I'm leaving my current place of employment is that I would not be allowed to be in a lesbian relationship there. If they knew, they'd want to fire me. I can't continue in a place where I can't talk about the most important person in my life -- the woman who drives me to work, packs my lunch, makes me laugh. I don't want to talk about the sex or the SM or the ownership. I just want to be able to say that this wonderful person makes my life better every day. My family is another story.... I haven't told my family that I am bisexual. They suspect I'm lesbian and I haven't been ready to get into the long discussion of the difference. They are 1500 miles away, so these conversations are going to be via telephone. That will make it hard. However, the idea of hiding this amazing relationship is ridiculous. They love me. They worry about me being alone and lonely. They want me to be happy. I am finally with someone who brings a tremendous amount of happiness to my life on a daily basis and I want them to know that! I just know that they are going to struggle with the fact that this someone is biologically female. (It would be silly to even try to explain she's a boi.) I've worked hard to leave my family's expectations for my life behind. I need to find my own (perverted) way and I have done so. However, making them question and doubt my choices and even fear for my future, this is always a difficult process. I have no doubt that they will, eventually, come to accept that My boi does make me happy and enrich my life in so many ways. They may never understand it. It may be very rocky to get to that acceptance. However, there are things that she has in common with all my immediate family -- that if I brought her home as one of my many friends, they would all like her. They will warm to each other...in time. I just have to keep that faith through whatever interim fireworks or roadblocks manifest. And, I have to take the first step of coming out to one of them....probably my mother will be first and my sister or brother last.
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