I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Friday, December 20, 2002 @ 11:28 It's been a busy week for us. We decided that we would like to stay in this apartment without a roommate (partly because finding a lifestyle-friendly roommate who'll put up with four cats and an iguana is highly unlikely!), so we needed to adjust our budget and find jobs with a combined takehome about $600 more a month than we had previously budgeted. This will allow us to payback loans from family members and still begin saving a large chunk for our future projects. So, we've both been job hunting: sending out resumes, searching want ads, taking interviews (I'm going to my third in three days this afternoon). In addition, we've been cleaning the apartment (more in a minute) and reading A LOT. We've also made time for "play" in the SM and sexual sense that we'd been too tired for since the boi's mother had her first heart attack. We're very happy and we're trusting the universe to provide the jobs we need in a timely fashion. I have been wanting to rearrange the furniture in the bedroom for awhile. I needed the change in energy and to provide better swing space for the rubber flogger and canes. I had put it off because we were hoping to switch bedrooms with the roommate (his has more square footage than ours) and I didn't want to have to move twice. With his revelation last Saturday that he wants to stop living with us, we realized that we'd be moving out of this bedroom probably in the next 4-6 weeks -- either to the other bedroom or to another apartment. I made the decision that I wanted to rearrange anyway. I don't want to live my life "on hold" with the accompanying stale energy and thought processes. So we spent Tuesday rearranging furniture. We felt the change in energy immediately. And when we tried out the new play configuration, the longer strokes upped the intensity considerably: I can hit harder and have more freedom in positioning and movement. the cats are almost used to it too. All in all, a very good decision on my part. We've also spent a lot of time talking about our relationship and the nature of ownership the past few weeks. There are several reasons for that. One is that I've been rethinking my view of ownership after her mother's death. I'll go into that another time. Another is that my boi met Guy Baldwin on Sunday. He wrote Slavecraft -- which was a pivotal book in the first few months of our relationship. We read it together and used it as the basis for our discussions on how ownership works for us. She had several other encounters at the same event that made her examine her behavior as a slave and the differences between slaves and bois and boi-slaves. Lastly, there were several incidents early this week that called into question (in her mind, not mine) her abilities as a slave and tested her focus. We've spent a goodly amount of time discussing these issues. Of course, there's the fact that it's the end of the year. Solstice is a big marker for her, as is New Year's. Our first Xmas together (even though neither of us is Xtian). We've been living together almost six months. Xmas will mark five months that she has been my collared slave. With both of us searching for jobs and planning where to live, there's lots going on that requires assessment of where we are and where we want to be. Neither of us doubts that we are and will remain together and that we want to deepen the intensity of our ownership. We're just checking in, reflecting, and strengthening our committment.
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