I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
| Wednesday, January 01, 2003 @ 13:46 Not much computer time. Between the new job, mentally preparing for the move, and handling some emotional episodes with the boi there just isn't a lot of time. I won't call what we experience "fights" because we don't. We sometimes disagree, but usually it's just very emotional discussion of issues. And the emotions are usually frustration, confusion, pain, guilt, fear, insecurity...not anger or vengeance or an urge to violence or destruction. When we get the latter ones, we work very hard to control them and not express them on each other. Therefore, our episodes don't make it to actual "fighting"....this relationship we have is too important to both of us to let the fleeting red flashes damage the other party or the relationship itself. I have been thinking a lot lately, and reading a lot. Much processing going on before, during, and after our episodes. My boi calls it the "six month yucks" -- apparently something she's experienced in every relationship that has lasted this long. Thank Goddess today marks seven months since our first 'date' and we can be officially past that stage. At least I hope we've seen the last of this round. In 2 1/2 weeks we're moving into an apartment that is ours -- both of our names on the lease....for at least a year, probably two. We need clarity to think all the logistics and organize the boxes and find friends to help and keep our energy clear so that we don't kill each other in the insanity that is moving and creating our own household, insulated from roommates and couch boys and barking dogs and people running down the hall just outside our bedroom.
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