I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Growth spurt & what we did last week
| Friday, July 04, 2003 @ 19:21 It's been an interesting few weeks. After the trip to KS to retreive stuff I left at my mom's house -- and to introduce boy to my parents and sister -- things starting shifting for us. (more on "boy" later) Part of it is getting into regular employment (at a higher rate of pay with promise of training & advancement in the near future) after months of temporary assignment at this firm. Part of it is that boy has been doing some major work in releasing stuff from his head, thereby freeing space and focus to his service. We're both happier individuals, devoted to improving ourselves and our life together. Basically, we're both waking up from the level of existence we used to survive the trials of the last year. As we each take steps to expand our Mastery or service, it sparks the other to new ideas and actions, resulting in an ever-increasing cycle -- feeding off each other's energy and inspiration. And, as we have all along, we're spending a lot of time discussing our views, reinforcing our intent and commitment, and reaching out to the community around us for ideas, support, and companionship. Last weekend boy volunteered at the Arizona Leather Sir & Boy contest. Two of his friends were competing for the boy title and the Phoenix Boys of Leather helped with the production. I accompanied him to the meet and greet party Friday night and the competition itself on Saturday. He also worked during the rehearsal and attended the wrap up party on his own. It was good for me to be out in the leather community. Other than participating in our women's group, I haven't been out there the way the boy is. He's found a real home in the PBoL and with the gay leathermen who support it. The event gave me the opportunity to meet many of the friends he's made over the past months and others in the community -- including title holders from neighboring states. It reminded me that there is a difference between the leather community and the bdsm community, though there is obvious overlap. It also reinforced that there are people out there who are living life the way I do with boy. I forget that sometimes. Monday night we attended a presentation on ritual cutting by Mistress Blair at APEX. I first encountered M.Blair on a discussion list years ago. Darby told me that there was a woman from NY on a list who wrote about M/s the way I did. When I joined the list and read some posts, I felt a kinship. Over the years I've read her posts on a variety of lists, but never corresponded with her directly....nor did I ever get around to reading her website. I'd seen the listing on the APEX calender weeks ago, but couldn't determine if it was the same Mistress Blair. Then Sunday I read an e-mail from her saying she wanted to connect with the women's group while she was in town. I made sure boy and I were there and that we talked to M.Blair afterward. The presentation was amazing and, in the days since, we've both taken time to explore her website as well as opened a correspondence with her. When she returns next month, we definitely plan to spend time with her. Like-minded sadistic owners, even if from very different communities, have a lot to talk about. I discovered that there is now a local chapter of Masters And slaves Together (MAsT). I have known of this organization almost as long as I've known about the SM community, but I didn't realize they had started a local chapter. We are planning to attend the July meeting in a few weeks to connect with that segment of the community. We've also been exploring blogs from across the country -- finding gay and lesbian Masters, slaves, Daddies, and boys that approach life the way we do. It's sparked a lot of discussion as we recognize ourselves in others and formulate the ways we can contribute to this community both by representing it online and connecting with individuals. In the middle of all this, I instituted new rules for boy in our daily life and identified his true name. I also began chaining him to the bed every night before sleep. We had a few spontaneous SM interactions as well as an intensive sex scene. The result is that boy is more strongly anchored in his slavehood and our bond continues to deepen. I spent the last year assuring him that I was happy with the service he was offering and was in no hurry to push to other levels -- that growth and training would come on my timeline, not his and not to any external model of ownership. I know what I want this relationship to become and I will guide it there as I see fit. Right now we are in a growth spurt that will most likely continue through the summer and early autumn. Our growth as individuals fuels our growth as Owner/property and our reaching out to the communities around us. We are both grateful to the universe that we recognized each other in time to share the last year -- which presented a lot of personal trials for both of us individually and we were able to survive because of the other and the dynamic we put in place last July. And I'm truly humbled to have earned the trust and devotion of such a remarkable woman. I enjoy her service, her humour, and her amazing creativity -- not to mention her delicious cooking! And I look forward to continuing the road of surrender and SM ahead of us.
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