I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Naming my property
| Saturday, July 05, 2003 @ 12:48 I believe that slaves have a core name --- the identity of their surrender and service. Sometimes that name is obvious, while sometimes it revels itself slowly. (With moon, her slave name sparked within weeks of our training collar.) I made it clear to boy when we first got together that owners choose the name for their property. I also retain the right to legally change the name he uses in his daily life, but that will come later. For the purpose of this Journal I had to find a name to use right away and the only thing that seemed to work was "My boi". I later changed that to "My boy" for reasons I'll go into in a moment. As the months passed, I still wasn't sure what the slave's name would be. However, I kept returning to the fact that my slave is a boy -- not a boi, not a girl, even when I'm making use of his femaleness, he is not feminine. (Well, sometimes he gives off a feminine energy, but it's rarely visible to the world.) After reconnecting with people in the M/s world through conversations and websites, I returned to the knowlege that a slave's name is not necessarily that of a person -- that ego of identity can be circumvented by removing first person references and the luxury of a individual name. I informed boy a few days ago that his name on all websites, correspondence, and writing will be "slave boy" -- "slave" is the descriptor, as in "slave marsha," "slave 4," "Master Jim," "Mistress Blair," etc. "boy" is his actual name. This is not a huge change. Most of the time I refer to him as "the boy" or "My boy" and when I call him or want his attention, I simply say "boy." Our close friends do the same, though most use "boi" as that is how he identified himself when we first came together. However, there are places where he is known as "johnnie" or "boi johnnie" or "johnnie boi" -- and Johnnie will remain his name when he is in his drag king persona. Likewise he will continue to use his birth name for all his poetry and spoken word endeavors. In the leather community and the M/s world, he will be "boy" or "slave boy" unless someone's personal protocol prevents them from addressing him thusly. The obvious question is why bo-y instead of bo-i? It comes down to two factors:
I have heard arguments for and against biological females using "boi" instead of "boy" to identity themselves. The reasoning I found logical for boi was that it made it easier in written correspondence to separate the biological males from the females -- and it reinforced that female boys are special. However, I encountered several rants on websites and e-mails (most memorably from Laura Antoniou on the discussion list for her Marketplace series of books), that boi is just an affectation: either one is a boy or one isn't a boy. In over a year of intimate interactions, I have no doubt that my slave is a boy -- even when he's expressing very female sexuality. Biologically and genetically he is female, but his identity is boy. And, yes, his Daddy energy also contains the boy core within it. While that is more than enough reason for me to accept 'boy' is his name, my spiritual beliefs include a recognition of the power of numerology and the lexigram. I had to "do his numbers" in order to validate my choice. Now to many, this seems ridiculous. For me it's sometimes frustrating as hell -- I went through dozens of possible names for my websites because I could not find a good number and lexigram. "slave boy" has a very positive and powerful numerology. Due to the flexibility of English, spelling it with y or i results in the same numerological meaning. I could go either way, but I must trust my guide. In choosing the name I use in life over a decade ago, I employed not only numerology, but the lexigram. I, like my slave, liked my birth name and have ambivalent feelings about my family name. The lexigram offered me the insights into names that decided my fate: I could not retain the name on my birth certificate. Though I still have not had the financial ability to legally change my name, I have been using my chosen name ever since and the power of that name has changed my life in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. I trust this process and, had boi been a better word, this would be a different post. Lexigram is a spiritual art I first encountered in the writings of Linda Goodman. To lexigram a word, name, title, or phrase, you begin with anagrams. You then apply a few revealed rules and let your higher sElf/guide/power/intuition guide you to the codes hidden within the anagrammed words. (Ever notice that "south" contains "so hot" and "north" yields "not hot"?) To learn more about lexigrams, check out "Linda Goodman's Star Signs" or use your favorite search engine to find one of the many, many sites that explain this spiritual tool and the research done since Goodman's death. Hidden within the name "slave boi" are the words "lie" and "lies". You also find "veil" and "evil" -- not traits I wish to encourage or reinforce through the power of a name (and names are perhaps our most powerful possessions). The name "slave boy" eliminates the "i" necessary for "lie" and "lies" -- just as changing my name to one without an "l" removed those words from my name. More importantly, "slave boy" yields the word "obey" -- the key to surrender in any slave. There is also the positive reinforcement of "yes" -- "obey? yes!" "boy obeys" "love? yes!" There are many more codes. I have not done a full lexigram. MysElf guided me to these and I know they are the key to boy's naming. The fact that a slave needs to remove the ego, the "I" from himself, was not originally obvious in choosing "slave boy" but is another reason for my rejection of "slave boi" as his name. It will be difficult for boy to change his e-mails and identities across the web from "boi" to "boy" and it will take time for people to adjust the grammer of the noun to the proper name. I have adjustments to make on my own websites and correspondence and I will be the one to explain to family and friends that "boy" is my nickname for the woman who shares my life. My experience has been that the effort required by the change reinforces both the reasons for the change and the power of the new name. He is "slave boy."
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