I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
pain
| Thursday, July 31, 2003 @ 07:29 I just spent a good length of time writing an email to friends to update them on my sister's health -- some of them don't even know about this latest episode. (they don't, as a rule, read this journal.) My e-mail server logged me out before I hit "send" and it was lost. It's too much. I can't rewrite the things I wrote. I can't try to recreate it for here. I have to be at work in half-an-hour and function as a person who isn't waiting for the phone to ring. I have to talk to my boss about the bad turn my sister took yesterday. I have to prepare myself for the logistics that may be instituted instantly in the next few days, or not for weeks/months. I'm still not able to say the "d" word, or write it anywhere. boy says I'm dealing with anticipatory grief. All I know is that I trust the universe -- I'm not making deals, having doubts, or being afraid for her -- but I'm still hurting...and waiting.
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