I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Top Drop (2nd entry today)
| Saturday, July 26, 2003 @ 08:35 Note: Today is likely to be a prolific day. I have lots I've been wanting to write about for the last week (and lots that happened in the last 36 hours) and I seem to have some energy today. The words got past the log jam at last. Historically, I don't experience Top Drop. It's just not how this sadist operates. But last night I did -- twice. I think it was a combination of factors: delayed reaction to boy's cutting last Sunday, lack of good sleep all week, emotional stress over my sister's critical state, and the fact that this Master was having trouble keeping the sadist in line. The result was that after my first scene with boy in the dungeon last night, I felt myself starting to crash. While he went out for his smoke, I went in search of non-sugary food to help ground me a bit. I managed to stop it from spiraling into a full drop -- I still had plans to beat boy hard later that night. However, by the time we crawled into bed around 2:00 am, I'd been up since 5, worked overtime, survived the afore-mentioned factors, and had two very intense scenes with boy. I crashed, hard, but not in a dangerous or negative way. boy was very concerned. As a switch, he understands top drop. He assured me he was there to listen, and reminded me that there were other tops at the dungeon who could have helped me when I started to crash after the first scene. I told him a few of the issues, but assured him that this was just a sense of energy shift, not a bad reaction. I needed to assimilate that shift, so that I could get some much-needed sleep -- After all, the alarm was set for 5:30 so that I could watch the critical penultimate Tour stage today! Of course, I wasn't that articulate in my phraseology *bg* I usually experience some form of energy shift after we have sex and sometimes when we play. In those cases it's an influx of energy -- feels like the universe is shotting energy right between my 3rd & 4th chakras. Usually my back arches and I have sharp breath intakes as each wave hits. Sometimes I'm tired enough to fall asleep before they hit, otherwise they have been known to keep me awake for an hour. On a few occasions, they happen *during* sex, which does interesting things to my orgasms. Last night it wasn't that kind of energy shift. It's much harder to describe, since I haven't experienced it previously. Most likely it was just an adjustment in me to everything that's happened recently. One minute I'm in a sort of limbo -- stuck, anxious, frustrated by the blockage -- then shift, and I'm talking to boy about things I usually have to wait a day or two to process. Not an unpleasant experience, just a surprising one -- when combined with the physical drop. So, my adrenaline dropped and my sadist's emotional high dropped and my energy shifted, but top drop doesn't have to be a negative experience.
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