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"When you open your mind and hands and heart to the knowing of a thing, there is no room in you for fear"

--Patricia McKillip, The Riddle-Master of Hed


I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here.

There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.


shedding
Saturday, August 21, 2004 @ 20:42

I realized today that it's not about "burning off" the hazy dazy cloud that's surrounding me; it's actually about shedding the excesses in my life. And there are plenty. I have too many e-mail accounts and too many extraneous discussion groups. We have too much stuff in our house: cds, books, papers, videotapes, stuffed animals, toys. I eat too much of the wrong kinds of foods (though I'm much, much better than I was even six months ago). I watch too much tv and spend too much time playing games at neopets.com (OMG! talk about addictive!). I have too many unfinished projects in my house (crochet, collage, half-written stories, mending, minor repairs, papers to file...). I had too much hair.

Yes, that says "had" and I'm sure those of you who know me in person are wondering if that means what you think it means. It does. This afternoon I got my hair cut for the first time in years. It is shorter than it has been since 1989. It is shorter than anyone currently in my life, other than my family, has ever seen it. It falls just a little past my shoulders -- just enough for a short ponytail. (For those who don't know me in person: my hair was down to my butt for the last 10+ years). And, yes, even though I've been considering this for months and working up the courage the past few weeks, I am still feeling quite a bit of shock.

I've had several mantras to get me through this -- and I needed them after the stylist cut it several inches shorter than she said she would! "It's only hair." "It will grow back." "Change is good." boy keeps reassuring me that it *will* grow back....

The truth is, no matter how many people loved my hair, it was damaged. Years of not caring what product I used or what type of brush or bothering to get the ends trimmed resulted in dry, split, unhealthy hair. I didn't protect it from the Arizona heat. I didn't adjust to the drier climate. I wore it as some sort of armor, I guess. Even though it was usually in a knot to keep it from getting in the way, there was the knowledge that this glorious length was there. And, even as damaged as it was, it looked good -- from a distance. It looks better now. Just shorter. MUCH shorter.

One thing people don't know about me is that my hair is naturally curly/wavy. Even when it was long, the ends would curl up as they dried. (The first time boy noticed this he was very, very surprised.) However, as soon as I combed it out it would go flat, due to the weight of the hair, I guess. Now that it's so short, it stays curly. Not Shirley Temple curly (thank the Universe!). Just wavy enough to make my mom (and every other woman who gets a regular perm) jealous.

I'm sure there will be some very suprised looks at work Monday, and at the APEX meeting Monday night...and for weeks to come as people see it for the first time. Instead of a knot or long, straight hair, you'll see short, wavy, *healthy* hair. Until it grows out again...if I don't decide I like this low maintenance length better.

"It's only hair."

"Change is good."

"I need to shed excess."

note: the cut hair was long enough to be donated to a children's cancer organization which is another good thing about doing this.

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