I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
LLC IX initial reflections
| Tuesday, April 12, 2005 @ 08:23 LLC IX began for me last year when I volunteered to be a team lead. I worked with two "supervisors" to plan a "menu" for the Hospitality Suite and organize volunteers from the Phoenix Boys of Leather to staff the suite throughout the event. I spent several days researching prices and shopping to make the best use of the budget and then sacrificed most of my time at the event to the room on the 4th Floor (though I did make it to two workshop sessions as well as the opening and closing ceremonies). It was a wonderful experience and I have emerged with a laundry list of actions I want to take in my community and in my personal life over the next year -- and it's a very long list. I heard a lot this weekend about being "authentic" and about the definition of "leather leader." In the opening keynote speech, Master Skip Chasey made points about passion and ministry and I went home that night cursing that he had, once again, raised issues that I had been suppressing in my life and need to address. Discussions in the Hospitality Suite and ideas gleaned from the Poster Sessions helped me identify things that I feel moved to do -- since no one else seems to be doing them. I had passion for this community when I first joined up in Kansas nearly seven years ago, but I let it drop when I moved here and felt overwhelmed by the number of more experienced and knowledgeable people. They were much better qualified than myself to lead. Listening to slave marsha talk about "time in leather" at the Closing Ceremonies and her definition of "leather nation" made me realize that I can no longer deny my skills and ideas and must accept my place as a leather leader in this community -- since so many people seem to recognize me as one already. None of this is "new" to me. boy has been telling me for years that I have something important to contribute and that certain members of the community are wanting me to step into a larger role here. Over the past few months that has become more and more evident and during the weekend there were countless individual encounters to prove that boy is right and many already see me as a leader -- whether I have official titles to prove it or not. I now see my thoughts and actions in a different light. I have released the passion that I suppressed for so long and have accepted the responsibility that goes along with leadership instead of hiding behind the "I don't really know enough, why don't you ask someone with more experience" mantra. When someone who has held two National/International titles asks you and Jack Rinella for advice at the same time, you really can't pretend to be a wallflower anymore. -- and that was far from the most significant moment of realization, it's just the one that I think more people would understand. I want to write about specific moments and specific projects that came out of this weekend -- both for mysElf and others. There are also a few things that were already in the works that now have exponentially increased levels of urgency and commitment for my household. I will do that in the coming days and weeks. This was just a rambling chance to get some thoughts on the page while the energy is still fresh and the passion flowing at its strongest.
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