I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
clear mind
| Thursday, May 12, 2005 @ 12:06 I am starting to realize just how much of my life my old job occupied. I thought I was doing a good job of keeping work at work and home at home. I truly did. I wasn't stressing or talking about work all the time. I thought I was doing well. I was wrong. Now that I'm not working, I'm finding that my mind is much clearer. I can actually follow a thread on a discussion group without getting bored. I can actually compose correspondence to friends and acquaintances when I used to dread it. I've started working on the long-promised update of my website (I closed my Unsuspected Depth website last July and vowed to merge it with D M's Realm). I'm working with boy on solutions to some of the tensions in our life and making clear plans for activities, projects, and presentations for us to complete this year. I'm reading books without losing my place. My only conclusion is that that job crowded and clouded my mind. It limited my ability to function because it was so limited in itself. We took some new friends down to Tucson on Monday. Driving, hiking in the desert, sitting around a restaurant table, it was all energizing. I pointed out to boy that I'm afraid of losing this space once I find a new job. I enjoy the ability to participate in online discussions again. I like that we're socializing more and getting to know people better. Here's a synopsis: Saturday -- I spent several hours hanging out with some APEX women at their garage sale Monday -- We went to Tucson with two of the women and then I went to APEX Monday meeting and connected with others even though boy wasn't there with me Wednesday -- boy had his first cooking lesson (who just happens to be someone from my old office and we spent some time chatting prior to the lesson) Thursday -- I called the cooking student this morning to discuss my upcoming yard sale and just to chat. she's supposed to call back today or tomorrow for more chat, since she's on a mini-vacation Friday -- We have a new friend coming over to talk and possibly have a bit of SM play Saturday -- The MAsT meeting has been moved to this afternoon instead of Sunday. I'll be going without boy (since he works) and then we'll either be having friends over for dinner or going to a Arizona Amazons "night out" (unless both are canceled) Those of you that know me know that that is a LOT of activity. I'm usually a homebody. However, I'm thriving on the type of connection I'm making with people now that I'm not being drug down by my job. Yes, I would have had the time to do most of these things even while I was working. I just didn't have the energy or enthusiasm to do so. And I didn't have the clarity to recognize how much the job was hurting me. I have to make sure that whatever employment opportunities arise for me in the coming weeks, I keep in mind the type of work and environment that is going to hinder my life and which kind is going to feed this clarity and energy. I do not want to lose the momentum and focus I'm building for my household goals. I enjoy it and it's good for me and for my slave.
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