I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Right Question #1
| Wednesday, June 01, 2005 @ 09:53 "Will this choice propel me toward an inspiring future or will it keep me stuck in the past?" --From The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions to Guide You to an Extraordinary Life* by Debbie Ford. * I have not read this entire book, just the introductory chapters. All reflections on the questions are my own. I don't always recognize that a choice I make is coming from habit, or even addiction. Many times I don't even recognize that I'm making a choice; I just do something with little or no thought. Reactive behaviors tend to come from habit. It's easier to sit on the sofa watching TV even though I know intellectually that there are others things I could do that would be healthier for my mind and body, but I'd rather cause slow damage to mysElf doing what I'm used to doing than take action. How can this particular question help combat habits and addictions? Any habit, by definition, keeps you stuck in the past. If you follow the same behaviors, whether you expect a different outcome or not, the result will only be more of the same. To create change you have to actually take a different action than you have in the past. It seems simplistic, but it is remarkably difficult. If habits are so ingrained that we don't even realize we're making a choice, how can we change them? We first have to recognize that every time we do something out of habit, we're making a choice to repeat learned behaviors and making a choice NOT to try a different behavior. Some of my habits: Watch whatever is on TV when I feel tired or only have a short period of time available between activities. When I sit down at the computer, I check email first and usually play some type of game as "warm up" before doing anything productive. Whenever I eat a bowl of cereal for breakfast, I also eat one or two pieces of toast or english muffin. When I go to a grocery store, there is usually a set order I will walk through the store (different for different stores). When I bring in the mail, I sort out the "resident" junk, leave our housemate's mail on the table, and put all of ours in a pile near the computer to be sorted later. While none of these seem as detrimental as smoking or grossly overeating or engaging in high-risk behaviors, they are all habits that I don't always recognize as choices. There is no reason I couldn't decide to have a piece of fruit with my cereal. If I'm tired, I could choose to listen to music (one of my goals) or update my handwritten journal (which is just a log of activities and doesn't require complex thought processes) or sit down at the drafting table and doodle (which might spark some visual inspiration and actually energize me). If I set up a place for mail, near a trash bin and shredder, I can take care of mail instead of just wait-listing it for future action. Something as rote as which aisle you go to first in the grocery store or what streets you take to drive there is harmless on the surface. You may alter your drive if there are traffic issues. You may skip the first aisle if you know you don't need anything that is there, but I know that I'll just skip to the third or fourth stop on my usual circuit to get me to the item I want. There are dozens of choices I make each day without realizing they are choices. The act of realizing they are choices and making a choice instead of following a habit breaks me from the past. I may decide to do it the same way this time, but I will have made a decision instead of mindlessly repeating previous behavior. Does a drive to the grocery store create an inspiring future? It can if you pass a store you didn't know existed on a street you rarely travel. Or perhaps you see a "for rent" or "now hiring" sign that creates a possible career change. Sometimes it is a simple as turning a corner and seeing a mountain from a different angle -- just as the sunset glows red and you realize how wonderous natural beauty can be and something in you is able to breathe for a moment in the busy-ness of city life. And choosing a different route once inside the grocery store? Several of the stores in our neighborhood have recently added "health food" sections that we wouldn't have found if we hadn't broken from routine. And what if the day that we took our usual circuit we just missed meeting that cute dyke boi who works in a different aisle? We can't know what unexpected occurrences can inspire our future until we break from the past.
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Have you thought about looking at something like 'oblique strategies' by brian eno to introduce a certain amount of randomness into your decsion making process. Drop me a line if you want to find out more bryn # posted by
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