I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
Right Question #2
| Thursday, June 02, 2005 @ 09:38 Will this choice bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification? --From The Right Questions: Ten Essential Questions to Guide You to an Extraordinary Life* by Debbie Ford. * I have not read this entire book, just the introductory chapters. All reflections on the questions are my own. This is one of my buttons and has been for awhile. Our society is run not on short-term gratification, but on instant gratification. If you can't give it to me NOW, then I'll go somewhere that will. I won't sit on hold for twenty minutes unless I have an immediate need for whatever support is on the other side of the phone. If a television program stays on one camera angle for more than a second or two and there is no action in the frame itself, the audience will get bored and use the remote to change the image themselves. People will pay hundreds of dollars for exercise programs that will shed inches in 5 minutes a day instead of a half hour workout or lose pounds in two weeks instead of two months. Long term consequences of microwave ovens, clear-cutting rain forests to provide grazing land for cattle to sell to McDonalds and Wendys, joint and ligament damage from over-zealous exercise, to say nothing of the health effects of diet and mood-altering drugs that rush on the market with minimal testing -- none of that matters if I can have what I want now. For mysElf the issue hasn't been about speed so much as momentary gratification. If I can sit in front of the tv and laugh at a sitcom (even if I've seen that particular episode a dozen times already), that is what I will do. I would rather be amused in this moment than put in the effort to clean out my closet for the next two hours. Maybe I'd have a tremendous sense of accomplishment after cleaning the closet and have rid my life of clutter and even save time when I go to find and use things in the future, but that fulfillment won't happen for two hours -- and I have to *work* for those whole two hours. I don't like work. I choose to be gratified in the moment rather than exert energy in the moment to earn fulfillment later --even when that fulfillment is longer-lasting and deeper than the momentary gratification. This isn't the way I want to live my life. I have been working since last year to build healthier habits and focus on long-term goals over short-term gratification. I've stopped eating certain foods that taste wonderful or provide comfort associations from childhood because they damage my body. I've started walking to area stores when temperature and physical ability allow (I have arthritis in one ankle and a heel spur and trick knee on the opposite leg). I even walked over a mile to the doctor's office in 90+ degree heat last month. I'm reading more and watching less television -- playing music in the background instead of tv noise. I invested in a high quality mattress for our bed instead of using that money for a trip or new electronic toys, entertainment, restaurants, nights at the dungeon, etc. I could have bought a lot of immediate gratification for the same price as something that is helping our backs and joints and the quality of our sleep. Little steps and big choices all add up to changes in how I live and what my life looks like. I have a long way to go. There are still dozens of times a day when I choose gratification over fulfillment. There are still entire categories of choices in my life where I need to apply this question. I know the work I'm doing on identifying my goals and choosing priorites is another good step. Establishing those desires and figuring out what behaviors support them and what detracts helps me focus on long-term fulfillment. Making those goals clear to boy will help him in his choices as well. In the past two months we have both taken countless steps, large and small, to work toward what we really want in our life, even if it's uncomfortable in the short run, even if it means forgoing multitudes of opportunities for immediate gratification. We want an proactive, happy life, not a reactive, gratified existence.
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