I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here. There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
boy's father
| Thursday, February 02, 2006 @ 11:04 boy's father is in the hospital with a life-threatening diabetic infection. According to my leather sister (a health care professional), we should pretty much expect that he will lose his foot. Worst case scenario is boy will make an emergency trip to Arizona for a burial and to pack up his father's house (protecting things from being damaged/discarded by his brothers). Best case is that boy's father comes out of the hospital and goes to a retirement/assisted living home and boy makes a trip to Arizona to pack up the house. This has brought all sorts of things to the forefront. boy has not spoken to his father in nearly three years. Having watched them together, I know that there is much love and concern on both sides, it is just unhealthy for boy to have contact with his surviving FOO. Although we did not expect his father to survive so long after boy's mother died, it will still be a tremendous loss, when it comes. And boy having to go back to Arizona alone to deal with the aftermath or with closing the house due to relocating his father, is a dangerous proposition. However, we will be strapped enough trying to finance boy's plane ticket and missing work days, let alone trying to finagle me as well. I have the assurances of a dear friend and his slave that they will offer boy a place to stay as well as support. My leather sister has also offered to give him any emotional support needed, including being an escort when her work schedule permits. I have no doubt that the network of our FOC will be there for him at the drop of a hat. I don't express my protectiveness of boy very often. he is my warrior slave: sent to help protect me both physically and spiritually. I value his strength and his skills. As his Master, though, it is my job to make sure he is safe from emotional attacks and toxic environments. I try to forget the abuses heaped on him by his FOO during his childhood and the toxicity of said FOO that I witnessed just three years ago. This situation just brings it all back -- and we've been told by his cousin that the physical condition of the house is multitudes worse than it was. I don't relish sending him back into that mess. However, he is stronger and more stable than he has ever been in his life. he has a solid foundation in the life we've built together. he has the love of our FOC as well as the growing support of my FOO here in Kansas. The Protector in my is on full alert and is reluctant to let him out of my sight, but I have to find trust in him and in the support of our FOC in Arizona that he will be safe. Of course, I also worry how the loss of his remaining parent will affect him emotionally and spiritually. One of the reasons we came to Kansas was to spend time with my sister. She has been given less than two years and has been in the hospital twice since Xmas. Any infection, virus, fever, or simple change in blood chemistry could spell the end for her. She is susceptible to stroke, heart attack, pneumonia, bronchitis...pretty much anything. In addition, my grandfather has been fighting cancer for years and had heart surgery right before we moved here. I knew we might have to attend one or two funerals while here in Kansas. I did not consider that boy might have to return to Arizona to attend a burial..... And how to find money for a plane ticket, transportation around the valley, and storage fees until we can return to Arizona.....The virgo in me wants to plan out every contingency....I'm working on keeping my focus on the now. breathing. healing my ankle. finding a job. when there is news, boy's cousin will call us....
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