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"When you open your mind and hands and heart to the knowing of a thing, there is no room in you for fear"
--Patricia McKillip, The Riddle-Master of Hed |
I am going to start filtering some of my more private musings. Since blogger does not have a tool for that, you will need to visit my Live Journal and ask to be friended there. I will continue to post Daily Gratitude and other subjects here.
There is also a FAQ for my Journal at the same link.
First Blood
Saturday, November 11, 2006
@ 16:15
I killed my first character today. It was "offscreen" (I didn't write the actual death, but I wrote about the reactions and consequences of the death on other characters), but it still feels very weird.
I didn't plan to kill the character until earlier this morning. It just came to me that she was going to die. The weird thing is that at this point I've only written one scene with her in it and she isnt' going to die until much later in the book. I just knew I needed to write that chapter now, get it out of my head and that way I know she's dead and what the impact will be.
Only problem is that my brain is still reeling at the idea that I killed a character. I may have been writing since I was a kid, but I have never killed one before. At least not that I remember. I've had chacters who experienced traumatic death in their past, but it has never happened in the present of a storyline. Maybe a grandparent or cousin, but not someone actually represented in the plot. This is a first to me and it is bothering me a lot more than I thought. Maybe it's amplified by hormones, but I did not expect to kill off anyone -- it's not a detective or action or thriller type novel. People don't usually *die* in my writing.
I guess this means I'm growing as a writer or something. What I do know is that I finished the chapter over three hours ago and I haven't been able to get mysElf to write anything more. It seems a bit callous to kill her off and then go back and write the earlier stuff about her knowing what is coming. Or maybe it is hormones and I'm just getting too close to the character. I have to get past this block, because I need 5000 words today, one way or another.
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